His Holiness the Dalai Lama said that it is not enough to think about compassion, we must change our thoughts and behaviors to cultivate compassion but not to be attached.
It is important that we have a clear and deep understanding of compassion before we want to develop this wonderful quality. Simply put, compassion can be defined as positive thoughts and emotions that give rise to essential and important things in life such as hope, courage, and inner strength of each oerson. According to Buddhism, love and compassion are two aspects of the same nature: Love is the desire for others to be happy and compassion is the hope for them to be free from all suffering.
Selfishness is the enemy of the love we have for others, however, we are all affected by this disease to varying degrees. To achieve true hapiness, we need to have a stable, peaceful mind; and it is built by compassion. But how can we develop this virtue? Obviously, just believing and imagining about its importance and benefits is not enough, but we need to make an effort to practice and combine both the virtues of love and compassion into all activities in daily life to gradually change our thoughts and behavior.
Even in married life, love between husband and wife (especially from the beginning, when the other person does not understand the character of the other person) is more about attachment and enjoyment than true love. The reason why marriages are short–lived is because they lack the warmth of compassion. They begin with a grip on the feeling of projection and expectation.
In the end, as soon as a series of expectations are not fully met, the attachment and clinging to the other person also disappears. Our desire can be so strong that the other person can be seen as perfect in every ways, when in reality she or he still has a lot of mistakes and flaws. Moreover, attachment make us exaggerate the unimportant qualites of the other oersons; this shows that our love is impulse by personal needs rather than sincere concern for others.
In fact, we can completely nurture and develop compassion without getting entangled in greed. First of all, we need to understand the difference between compassion and greed. Compassion is not only a kind of emotional response but also a firm commitment of reason. Because of that solidity, we can completely use a compassionate attitude to treat others even if they behave negatively.
Compassion does not arise based on our judgments and expectations, but on the needs of others: regardless of whether the person is a close friend or an enemy, as long as they aspire happiness, peace and freedom from suffering, we will sincerely care and help them. This is an expression of true compassion. As a Buddhist, set a goal for yourself the universe to be happy and free from suffering.